exhaused, but no sleep

So to continue about today. Had a good lunch with my friend Pat and Josh. We then went back to our coffee shop and we all broke out our laptops and went back to work. I spent some time calling more churches, citibank to straighten out more things with them and some reading time.

I had a moment of utter frustration and disappointment. I called a pastor who said he hadn't received my letter, so I begin to tell him about it and asked if it would be okay to send him another one in the mail or email him. He said "Yeah I'll save you the stamp, I can't help you". Well, I think that is about as close to what he said as I can remember, I think I was fighting back anger and maybe tears.

I have received a good number of uplifting comments and had a few really great conversations. But this one guy had the potential to set all those on the floor and stomp them. I really was upset for probably two hours after that. I don't know what it is about moments like that, they just take the wind right out of my sails.

I got a reply to an email I mailed Stan, the pastor I'm going to work for. One of the things that stuck out to me was this "To be very honest I have been somewhat discouraged". He was referring to the affects of his surgery and how he wishes he could have done so much more during his recovery time.

I really admire that and it stuck out to me because,

1. this is coming from a well seasoned minster
2. who is also a great leader of the church
3. who struggles with difficulties in ministry and life
4. yet still carries on and pushes forward in the name of the Lord

that was encouraging. I know full well that this man would have absolutely done more. I'm almost certain he did more than he should have during his recovering time too.

I need some of that...cause these moments like today can cancel out two days worth of work and good news. But I try to just keep holding on to the fact I am doing this for God. He's with me and He is going to meet my needs and watch my back.

Oh God hear me, this is my prayer. Keep me going when it starts to get tough. Keep me focused, keep my head up and my heart pointed toward you. Thank you for your blessings and provisions. Thanks for breathe in my lungs. Amen