prayer and progress

March is here, Spring is here, and the madness has once again returned.

The Basketball games have been fun to watch and my Tar-heels have made me proud this month. My bracket is slowing coming apart but that is part of the fun.

I have to be honest. I have tried to fast and pray this week. I'm finding out I'm not very good at either. The fasting part was just physically difficult and found myself eventually eating. With praying I am finding that I do not really know how to pray.

Written, out-loud, silent, eyes closed/open and liturgical. They all make sense...I just feel so stupid. Honestly, I don't think this is something that has been taught well by the church or by institution. Here I am feeling and knowing that something needs to change with my prayer life and...I honestly don't know where to start. The prayer Jesus teaches the disciples is awesome and if Jesus taught that method it should be all we need, right? I really am confused on this issue. Books upon books upon books about the subject. Why? Honestly, I feel half the time that I'm doing something wrong in my faith and that every eye is waiting to point out my mistakes. I realize that part of that is me but part of that is there are nine different opinions on a subject, all are educated, one doesn't agree with the other and so forth. Ok that wasn't all about prayer. What has happened to the beauty of simplicity? I just want to know that this is okay:

Jesus,

I really suck at life right now. I don't know what is going on in my head, I feel like a failure and I'm scared. Be with my family, my friends and the circle of people that surround me in my life. Help me focus on you and stay in tune to your Spirit. Please forgive me for being a disobedient sinner today and thank you for your Son who on this day you brought back to life. Thank you for his sacrifice and for your love. Give me the strength to carry on. Thank you for being you.

Amen.

Simple. And yet somehow...I feel like that is so wrong and I just don't know why.

On a positive note this week has seen some progress toward Australia. A church I sent a letter to in NC responded with a letter. It was exciting. The pastor took it to his local board and they gave approval to help me by giving 50 dollars. It really made me smile. He even asked that I eat some platypus jerky for him. It was a positive boost. On top of one of the churches from Chesapeake gave me 200. I think all total this week 500 dollars was raised. I would call that a good off week.

Next week the phone calls start again. Pray that that goes well. There is something rolling around in my head and a decision is on the table right now that I ask you to pray for.

Well that is enough for now. Everyone enjoy Resurrection day...

Give one up for Trinity while you're at it.