travelers' song

A fire lit, its embers sigh
like voices quiet in the night.
Over these go Angel's eyes
Or blinking stars on endless skies

Peering down through times bleak bend
The angels blink and blink again
At travelers lost but all in gain
For grace and peace the heavens send.

Their echoes rattled desert spaces
Green and Mountain made their stage,
An enterprise surmounts the pages
Of the tale these travelers made.

And you are too invited hither,
Pack your gear and boarded go,
For we upon the globe shall dither,
Our Maker having us in tow.


talk to you all in 18 hours......

The farewell tour

Okay. Obviously there are a lot of people I want to see and say goodbye to. Keep in mind that I have a very limited amount of time. I leave next Monday.

I will traveling around for the next week, here is my schedule, it is subject to spur of the moment decisions and last minute changes. I'm going to do the best I can.

Monday: Home, driving, Knoxville?
Tuesday: Wilmore, KY
Wednesday: Wilmore, KY
Thursday: Driving, Knoxville?, and Asheville to visit my sister (this part will not change).
Friday: Driving, Home, Central evening. At this point I will not have my car anymore!
Saturday: Central
Sunday: Central
Monday: Early-Central.

Thats it. I tried to divide up time as best I could. Please, please realize I am trying my best to get around to as many people as possible.

Give me a call 336-613-7420. After that I won't have my cell any longer.

It has been great, I will miss you all dearly.

leaving on a jet plane

Well the day is getting here real soon. I have been financially cleared, I have received clearance with my visa and I'm working on booking a flight right now. I also need to be sending out my newsletter today. Later.

Well after almost a full year I am about to leave. Finally! My goal was actually to leave today. Well, I missed that target, but not by much. I should be leaving with in the next week, at least by the 30th. I really don't know what to think right now about all of this. Never thought this was actually gonna happen. I guess now I've got to deal with the fact that it is. I really don't know what to feel.

I'm excited, but also really scared. So, I ask if you read my blog keep me in your prayers.

I watched something interesting just a few moments ago. It is a short film by actor/director Matthew Modine. I'm not gonna put the title because it might get me flagged by the CIA. Anyway, the link is below. You judge for yourself. I thought it was good.


Video

My favorite is the African guy with the Bono glasses who says "or BAPTIST!"

You will know who he is. I love that guy

I think it is a good video about the fact that American has a rich population of all different people. I had some issues with their patriotic grand standing, but I get where they are coming from.

that big bad brew

General Conference ended yesterday and it was great!

What I want to talk about right now is not really all that controversial unless you are a Wesleyan. Alcohol. Yes, I said it alcohol. The Wesleyan Church has for a long time taken a position of total abstinence from alcohol. That means that a person who wants to become a full member or a "covenant member" of the Wesleyan Church would also abstain from alcohol. For those who do not have a problem with alcohol, but still want to join the Wesleyan Church we had a thing called "community membership". However, the community member could not vote. So there were a few drawbacks to not being a full covenant member.

You may be wondering why I am using the past tense. The church voted to allow community members a vote in the local church. Interesting you might say.

I used to think that would be okay, but I don't anymore. As someone said to me we removed a distinction. Something that made being a covenant member special. I kinda agree with that.

For a long time I felt like alcohol was this great evil. I had been taught by the church that it was a bad thing. No one ever said it was a sin to drink, but they sure made it seem like it was. I'm not just talking about the Wesleyan church either I grew up Baptist. Now, no one in my family drinks and that is part of the reason why I don't, I was never exposed to it. For some people it is no big deal, a glass of wine at dinner, a beer every once in a while. No big deal.

But then you have the opposite of that. Complete and utter irresponsibility. Probably the thing that angered me the most at the state school was two things.

1. Under age drinking
2. And drunkenness of epic proportions

I was just amazed at young peoples complete disregard for themselves and other people. It really baffled me.

My opinion of alcohol has completely changed though.

Alcohol is not evil nor is it a sin to drink.

In our culture 90% of the time the reason for drinking is for one thing: getting drunk. Sure, I completely believe some adults drink responsibly, but my experience with the college culture is not one of responsibility. So drinking is not, but drunkenness is clearly outlined in Scripture as sinful.

The saddest thing is that even young christians find this okay.

I watched something really interesting the other night. It was a TV documentary called 30 days. It is by Morgan Spurlock, the director of Super Size Me. The premise is that for 30 days a person would live a lifestyle completely different from their own. The episode I watched was about a mother who wanted to teach her college age daughter the dangers of binge drinking. So for 30 days she became a binge drinker.

Interesting right. I mean why would a mother do that? Because she loved her daughter. I think she maybe could have done it a different way, but needless to say it was really interesting.

Here is the link:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/5294/30-days-binge-drinking#s-p1-so-i0

Here were few of the things alcohol does to the body.

1. Impairs judgement
2. Weakens the body's immune system
3. Contributes to high blood pressure
4. Diabetes
5. Heart and liver disease
6. Even in small amounts can lead to sleep deprivation
7. Memory loss
8. Anxiety
9. Depression

Yea, all those things sound GREAT!!! Even still drinking is not sinful.

My main beef with the Wesleyan Church's position was that it made it seem like alcohol was sinful. I mean Scripture does not tell us that. So my problem was that to me it seemed like the church was saying something was sinful when it wasn't, making scripture say what they wanted it to. Yes, if you know the Discipline it did say that alcohol is not evil in and of itself, but my problem was still with the language the church used and the kinda unspoken position taken by many people.

Their position is based on an effort to combat potential social problems, alcohol does contributes to all kinds of problems. So the church's position was in an effort to take the ultimate high ground, instead of checking out the cliff's edge and all of it's dangers, the church's stance is that there are dangers over that cliff and to get as far away from the cliff as possible. I mean if you know a gun is loaded you don't look down the barrel looking for the bullets do you? I see the reasoning behind their position. I believe they could have articulated it better.

In America there is a stigma attached to drinking. Why not try to avoid all question about the issue? Why not try to be beyond reproach?

In other cultures it is different. I am glad the Wesleyan Church has finally allowed the International Wesleyans to decide for themselves what to do in their unique cultures.

I believe it is a call to maturity, to avoid something that could potentially cause another to stumble. What is it Scripture says about tying a millstone around your neck and jumping in the water if you cause a young one to stumble? I think young Christians who choose to drink should be aware of the influence they have over even younger ones, and that it is completely sinful for a Christian to become drunk. I honestly don't care who that statement offends, that is Biblical truth. For a Christian to become drunk is an indication of spiritual immaturity. Again, I don't care who that offends.

Also, for a Wesleyan who has made a membership commitment to not drink and does it would be an issue of integrity. Do you live like you say you do?

Personally, I like the taste of Odouls, I think it tastes great with pizza. I will even openly confess that I have had a beer, if you want to judge me for it go right ahead, that will be on you. For me to drink now would be a question of doing what I said I wouldn't do. I had to work through this position in my own spirit. I am not saying that the Holy Spirit convicts people the same way, but He did convict me, now I have to stay true to that conviction.

The reason the Wesleyan Church took this stand is that it is a call to holiness, to a high level of spiritual maturity. It is in an effort to call us to be like Christ. I mean really as Christians do we really just want to strive for the cookies on the lowest shelf. Again, for a Christian to say yes to that statement would really show spiritual immaturity.

Again please hear me when I say I do not think drinking alcohol is a sinful thing. I really, really don't want to appear legalistic here so please dialogue with me about this if you want to. I do think that every Christian, especially us Wesleyans should assess and evaluate any reason for doing it. If you have no convictions about it and made no commitment other wise, I have no problems with you having a drink. I just ask that you be aware of the example you are setting, be prepared to explain that it is a personal choice made after spiritual assessment and with no convictions. Lastly, please, please be responsible. Do not tarnish the name of Christ by being irresponsible.

I really hope this hasn't been too incoherent and does make some sense. It really has taken me a long time to sort this out for myself and please again realize that this is my personal view and I am still sorting it all out. I am not trying to push this off on anyone I am simply thinking things out for myself and posting them here for you to read.

Thanks for reading and please dialogue with if you would like.

more about General Conference coming.

miracle money

Ok so I go the mail box and in it is a letter addressed to me from my neighbor. I open it and there is a letter and a check for 1000 dollars.

WHAT!!!!!!!

I couldn't believe it.

Well he is a world traveler and apparently my mom told him that I was getting ready to go to Australia. He'd always wanted to but hasn't so he gave me 1000 bucks.

CRAZY!!!!

anyway, that should for sure put me over the top with some cushion as far as my finances are concerned.

So, thank you Mr. M for that awesome gift and thank you Mom for talking about me!

Blogs and posts about general conference are coming soon.

I saw three airports, one train station and finally my car yesterday....what a day.

more soon

freedom from sin

Sometimes I hate having good thoughts right after writing a blog that I also believe was a good thought. I just don't want my other thoughts over looked.

Anyway.

I had my friend Don read my blog tonight and he told me I was a good writer. This was after I went on a tirade about some issues I have with the Church.

I'm glad he's my friend.

Anyway. Again I am sitting awake again. Just finished watching another episode of Life. It is a good show, well acted, well written and excellently cast. I realize that my sitting up late could be viewed as time wasted or squandered, maybe even that I've been a poor steward of my time.

maybe.

I mean you never know where you might get a sermon illustration. Oh and Dr. Black always told us to be up on what is going on in the world and pop culture.

Thats probably a stretch.

But I generally never just watch something to disconnect. I actually enjoy a story that is intriguing and is going somewhere. I know a lot of people watch TV or movies to just relax.

I don't. I like to think.

I watch TV and movies because it keeps my brain going. It may make me think about something in a different way.

So to me if I can do this and still think about things am I really wasting time?

For instance.

This show is about a cop who is found guilty of a murder he did not commit. He is sentenced to life in prison, but is later exonerated after twelve years of incarceration.

Yea. That sounds rough.

So the show is about him after his settlement, he's rich but still works as a detective. He's a good cop.

However, it is obvious that his imprisonment took its toll. There is constant reference to the fact that people are imprisoned by their situations, by people and by life itself sometimes.

Here is the pay dirt. You think you are ready for this?

We are imprisoned by sin.

Tah dah. What an epiphany that one was.

Seriously though there is more truth to that statement than we realize. We get so bound up by all that sin brings with it. Sin is the thing that puts a gap between us and God. God is Holy, He can't have anything to do with sin. It is not what God wants for us because He knows it isn't the best. He also knows that His best doesn't carry guilt, shame, mental anguish, physical consequences, grief and regret that transgressions against what He wants does. It's funny even people who are apart from God experience these things. Funny. Makes me think just how close God is to all of us, even those who have blocked him out or refused him. The soul inside of them experiences something that they don't fully understand. I think they realize something is wrong, but just aren't sure what it is that they need. The imprint of creator God still has a gravity even on the worst of sinners. The Holy Spirit at work on the hearts of people who wouldn't even know it was Him. Maybe a little thing called prevenient grace? I'm not saying God is sneaky, I just think its cool how in our inner most creation something inside us is in turmoil if we are apart or in opposition to Him. I think He made us that way. That our soul would cry out to him.

The moon has a gravity on the sea, it affects the tides and stuff like that.

Maybe God has a gravity on our soul?

And who is the only person that could calm the seas?

Maybe it is just that simple.

Sin separated us from God. Jesus paid the price for our sin to rectify our relationship with God. Sin is our prison and Jesus is our rescuer and our key.

We need Jesus because He undoes the shackles. He's that missing piece, the bridge back to God. When we accept Him as Savior we are saying, Yes God, We were disobedient. Yes God, We need your son. We know we are not right with Him, we are not good, We need Jesus because He is the only thing that can save us.

He calms the storms in our souls.

He bring us back into communion with God, the creator of our soul.

He sets us free from our prison.

Our sin prison.

Anyway, how is that for thinking?

knowledge is power

So.

I am sitting here at 1:35 on what is now Monday morning. Watching a TV show called Life that is on NBC, I decided to watch it because it stars the guy who played Capt. Winters in the Band of Brother mini series.

Bored

Yeap

It is difficult to be home. Everything comes flooding back. None of my friends are here and I miss everyone. So when I miss everything and feel this way it usually leads to me doing some reflecting.

Me and reflecting are a bad pair, we don't get along well.

I think I've realized that a lot of my personal failures and grievance I have with myself is that I have to know everything.

A guy my Dad worked with used to call me World Book because I was always talking about some interesting new thing I'd learned or some random trivia that had no real use other than being...knowledge.

Actually, it was probably cause I'm a know it all...even if I don't.

See for me to feel like everything is in control I have to understand everything. Everybody and their reactions, feelings, words and opinions have to be cataloged, sorted and filed into my little brain. Things I hear, learn or see goes through the same process. Also, everything I do and say goes through the same process. I sit in bed awake a lot. It used to be worse. When things are outside of that control...it can drive me...crazy.

And you wonder why I have no hair?

I have to know everything. Every path has to be explored and figured out. Sometimes, I think I look at life like a really big rubik's cube and I have to figure the dang thing out.

Actually, its really not as bad as it sounds. I really like to know things, to learn and to figure things out. To understand. Trivia is fun to me. I think whatever that this is, is responsible for me being interested in...just about everything. You name it...I could probably have a conversation with you about it...and if not...I could probably listen to you talk about it for hours and find it interesting and fun.

I think tonight though I realized something.

Adam and Eve were given a choice. To obey and not eat of the Tree of Knowledge. Paradise all around them, communion with God all the time, they got to spend time and take walks with Him. How cool is that! All God asked was do not eat of this one tree. Sure, Satan tempted them and they disobeyed. But God didn't make robots, He gave man kind a choice. He wanted them to freely choose Him.

To quote the Templar Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade "They chose poorly"

Paradise traded away for knowledge. Communion with God cast aside because they had to know. I have heard a lot of people say there are great mysteries about God we may never know, even after we are in heaven. There are great mysteries now that I think human kind wants to understand but doesn't and may never.

Isn't the fun of mystery...the mystery?

Alfred Hitchcock at the beginning of his movies had a disclaimer: Don't tell your friends the secret ending. Something like that anyway.

Maybe this is our problem.

Maybe this what is wrong.

Everything that we deal with, struggle with and face on a daily basis is an extension of that one day back in the garden when Adam and Eve just had to know.

And now we do.

Their eyes were opened.

Ever have someone ruin a great movie or book because they told you the ending? I could choke those people sometimes.

You know why it would stink to know exactly when and how you would die? 'Cause it would overshadow everything before that.

I think regardless of being a Christian or not people aren't staying married for a couple reasons. There is no mystery to sex any more. It is everywhere, it permeates our culture. So we have the random hook up, the one-night stand, the summer fling and casual sex with who ever and when ever.

I think God commands that we wait until marriage to have sex because He knows there is a mystery to it. A unique bond between man and woman, sanctified through a covenant with one another and with God.

But we have taken that out.

So people do that and they ruin it for themselves. They become jaded, hardened and hollow.

Another reason I think is because we are a Me culture. Everything is about Me. What I need and what I want. I think that some marriages fail because they fail to see the mystery, the chance to know and be known intimately by another person. To grow and share things together. To share a story, to build a life and to grow with God together.

Likewise with God. I think people give up on God for similar reasons.

I think this is the root of what is wrong with us.

I think this is when God can really show up. When we have faith, when we trust, when we root ourselves in his goodness and grace. When we stop having to know. When we just start trusting in Him. Trusting that his way is the best and that what He wants for us is to know and be known by Him.

To know Jesus. To know the price that He paid for us. To know that it mattered that much. To know that He became flesh and bone like us, To know our struggles and our pains. So we could know that we don't have to be bound up by what happen that day in the Garden. To know that through Jesus we are free from that tree.

The Israelites would not pronounce Yahweh. They spelled it and left out the vowels. YHWH. To know the name of someone in that time was to have a power over them. The showed respect for God by not saying his name.

Knowledge is power.

Power corrupts.

I think I just need to let go of the fruit.