2 posts in 24 hours...

So I realize that people do read my blog and they would probably read it more if I updated more often. I figure if Heath Mullikin can update on an almost daily basis...I should be able to too.


1. Blockbuster online is an awesome thing. I started an account mainly to watch the West Wing. I'm through season 3 and about to start season 4....
2. It is political season and the fact that I dislike most of the candidates spurred me to watch the West Wing. I really love this show and I plan to buy the boxed set eventually, its high price tag is holding that off for a while. I like the fact that the President played by Martin Sheen is a strong leader, a man of value and honor. No, He isn't perfect and their are problems with his candidacy, but I want that kind of guy as president. Is it a stretch to say I'd vote for President Barlett...?
3. I am hating Roger Clemens and baseball right now.
4. I sent 200 letters to Wesleyan Churches in Chesapeake, E. NY and E. New Hampshire, South Coastal and FL requesting 20 bucks from each church. I still have about 300 more to send out to NC East and West, SC and Penn-Jersey (Heath help a brother out!). This was a bold step for me...lets see how it goes.
5. I love my Mac. What I really hate is that I think I want to get Leopard and a Time Capsule. Tons of money for great stuff still equals tons of money spent. Just don't know if I want to commit that much to stuff like that right now.

Well, other stuff is waiting to be done. More later

The destruction of baseball

I do not write much. With that said the state of baseball upsets me. I was not a fan until my sophomore year of college. I became a fan because of the fun of rivalry and then I fell in love.

Everything that is going on right now with Roger Clemens makes me sick. Here is someone who was and still is one of the best pitchers to ever grace any mound, any where in the world.

This whole charade is stupid, a waste of tax payer money and an even bigger black mark on an already negative time in the history of baseball.

Seriously. Stop the media coverage it isn't helping anything. One of the senators told Clemens "you are one of my heroes sir, but I have a hard time believing you".

That is sad. I am tired of all the controversy, just play baseball.

Questions

I ask a lot of questions. Why do I have to do this, why is this important, what makes this person tick, what makes me tick, have I been a good friend or am I failing miserably? Tons of questions...they race through our heads constantly.

So I have been having some great dialog with people lately about God. There have been many questions asked that I...honestly haven't been able to answer with out some thought and some I just...can't answer.

One of those questions is why do I believe in God. More in specifically...what makes me believe in God, what makes me say that God exists and loves me. That was a really tough question, there are things that I have sorted through and dealt with personally that has helped me know that God exists and loves me.

So is it faith? Yes. So you just believe? Yes. That doesn't make sense. Sure it does.

I don't know...it is tough to answer questions like that. I thought about it like this.

"I have to believe that the God Jesus invites us to trust is as good as he says he is.

Loving.

Forgiving.

Merciful.

Full of grace."

I have to believe that...because for me if I don't ...my life really isn't worth living.

I look around me on a daily basis and see the emptiness of this world. I see the hurt in people's eyes. I see people who are chasing and pursuing things that will never fulfill them and will always, always let them down and leave them empty...and wondering why. I HATE IT. IT BREAKS MY HEART!!!!

This world offers me nothing to live for. Nothing. The only thing it offers is more hurt, more pain, more sorrow, more loss and more emptiness.

Take for example the tragic death of actor Heath Ledger. He is an individual that had wealth, fame, success and a list of other things that by the world's definition should have made him happy. But apparently they didn't...because he allegedly took his own life today. So what would drive a person who had essentially every earthly desire filled to take their own life? I have a guess. He was seeking God and finding other...stuff to fill the empty spaces in his soul and it just never...satisfied.

So I have to believe in God. Because He offers me something. He offers me unconditional love. A love that will never fail, never forsake, never let down, that shakes the world, changes lives, makes stone hearts beat, renews my spirit, forgives my sins, lifts me up, makes me feel alive and fills my soul.

I believe that because He has promised that to me. Throughout scripture God makes covenants/promises with his creation (us)...and He keeps every single one of them.

On the field in Death Valley

Well I got to do something really really cool on Saturday night. I was on the field at the Clemson/Boston College game for the pre-game and Halftime. It was an incredible experience. To stand on the the field and to look up and see 85 thousand plus people above me was a awe inspiring moment. I got to see the players come on the field, practice and I got to talk to some of the redshirts before the game. I even stood at the bottom of the hill in the endzone for what they call the "most exciting 25 seconds in college football". I stood behind the endzone for the opening kickoff, that was coming at us, It was quite a sight. The whole thing was crazy, loud and very thought provoking.

There I stood on the field, something probably not very many people get to experience in their life and thoughts of God began to creep in. I looked up and saw 85 thousand people. That is a ton of people and I began to wonder and think about how many people knew Jesus and how many people didn't. And I began to think, what if all these people did love Jesus and were this excited what they could do. The possibilities would be endless. I assessed myself and began to see that I have some displaced passion. I'm excited about God and serving him, but I'm not screaming 85 thousand people loud excited...and I really should be. God of the universe verse everything else in my life. I really should be far more excited about what is going on with me and my Creator rather than with me and the rest of Creation.

It is so easy to miss things and to not even know it. I think I've missed a lot of things. I think we miss God moments and opportunities because we got caught up in our lives and the world around us. I believe God knows this and thats why we can sense and feel him even when we aren't looking or paying attention and then He shows up and talks to us when we are least expecting it.

Last night God sat me down for a little talk at a football game. Awesome isn't it.

My microcosm

First I do want to address the issue of my posting infrequence. I really do have a lot of things to say, and I write a ton. I just usually end up highlighting and deleting it from the blog only to save it in Word format on my computer. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas and things to say. Most times I end up writing something that is super personal without even realizing it. I will however try to post a little more about my general life stuff and when something strikes me..........I'll write about it.

This is something that struck me. I am my own worst enemy. I can be so critical and hard on myself that it can lead me to inaction. I basically cripple myself. I don't really think I'm a good minister of the Gospel. But I know I am and can even be a great one. I like my job and the people I'm around. Right now it is probably the place I minister the most. Most of my co-workers are Christians but some aren't. I like it because I can have discussions and can be questioned. My favorite thing is blowing someones paradigm about Christianity away. I like it when someone realizes........hey, it isn't all that stifling.

I feel like it is an area of strength for me. To teach in a non teaching way. To show and do rather than talk about and talk down to someone. I'm by far no where close to being great at it, but I think I can be. I enjoy it though.

To talk about God and truth and be real. Yes, I may at times offend, but the ability to do it in a way that shows people........I respect them and their opinions and thoughts as well.

Well thats the though from the day...enjoy

Post-trip

Well hello everybody.

I'm posting like I promised :). I really didn't get a chance to post during my trip because we were so busy and gone most of the time. It was great fun, I got to spend some time with Heath and his family. We went to Geno's the home of the original cheesesteak. It was pretty cool. Just really getting to hang out was fun. We didn't have a good chance to go into the city like I had hoped. We primarily spent time at his house and at the church.

So no pictures because.......we really didn't go anywhere lol. It was a good trip though.

Good news! On the way up I stopped at home and picked up a support statement from GP. It was my October support statement and I had a list of people on it who I had no idea had got on board with me. It was great news and a number of people here at work have gotten on board with me as well. In the last week I have raised about 1,800 dollars. CRAZY!!!

Things are going well........Boston plays tonight and I'm praying that they can pull it out.

New Website

Hi everyone! I hope you are all well. Life is going well, hectic, but well. I have been working on a new website and and really hope to have it published soon. I get paid on Wednesday and I hope to purchase a domain shortly there after. Working at Jittery Joe's consumes a lot of my time. More than I thought it would. I'm am starting to get the hang of the whole time management thing.

Support raising is going steady, but slow. I get new commitments weekly which is always great. Ironically enough support comes when I start to get down in the dumps about not having supporters. God is funny that way I guess.

I'm traveling up to Delaware and Philly on Friday with my good buddy Abram. We are going up to see our old youth pastor and my mentor. I'm looking forward to getting to see Heath and Karen and spending some time catching up. I'm going to take lots of pictures. I will for sure post those on here.

Thanks for all those who encourage me, support me and keep me going. You guys are seriously the best.

I will definitely make an update while traveling, because well.........I don't do that many things that are interesting.......but a road trip for sure is.

Much love